Getting through customs, mainly at PDX

I have gone through customs a few times now. The process had changed a little the last time, I believe with attempts to make things easier, but with questionable success.

Experiences vary widely by country. I was looking at the possibility of bringing breakfast supplies with us, like maybe a sleeve of bagels again, but was not sure if they would be allowed in the country. I could not find any restrictions for Europe or Italy. That surprised me and I did some more searching.

On one message board the suggestion was that because Europe has been at the crossroads of trade and travel for centuries, they have been exposed to everything already and there aren't a lot of fears. That makes sense for them, and supports why island nation New Zealand - whose native fauna has been so threatened by imported species - is so strict.

Going through New Zealand customs from Australia, we lost a pack of crocodile jerky that was commercially sealed in plastic wrapping. It might have been okay in a can. Another woman was complaining that she got fined $200 for not declaring an apple she had forgot about. For them it makes sense.

I don't know if the US has to be as careful as it is, but having come through several times my primary concern is that I really try and avoid farms on vacation. I don't know exactly what will happen if I say "Yes, I was on a farm!" I am afraid that they will go through all my clothes looking for seeds and dirt, and maybe seize some of them. That may not sound like a big deal, but I don't have a big wardrobe - even having one piece confiscated would throw everything off.

When you are returning to the US, the questionnaire may be the same, but some aspects may be different. I feel like our experience at San Francisco (SFO) was better than our most recent experience at Portland (PDX), but it was also a few years ago, and then my bag didn't make it onto our next plane, so there was that.

That's one thing to know: you collect your luggage at customs. You may be getting onto another flight so have to hand it over again, but you will have your bags with you when they ask you what is in them.

One thing that means is that it takes a lot of time. One sister was planning on picking us up at the train, so planning if we landed at this time we should be on the train by this time. Ha! First of all, the plane was running late, as happened many times on this last trip, but also, customs and passport control is not fast.

One advantage of having gone through customs in San Francisco lat time was that once we landed in Portland we were done with all that. Our arrival time then was a reasonable predictor of when we would be ready (except for the time it took to wait for the lost bag, accept that it was not coming, and report it).

The disadvantage of all of it is that unless you are on a short flight from Canada or Mexico, you have probably been on a long flight and might be exhausted. We certainly were.

Now I am only going to go over my recent experiences at PDX.

The terminal for flights that require customs processing is a little bit removed. This is practical in case any problems come up or there is a need for quarantine, but it does mean once you are done you are going to have to wait for a shuttle back to the main terminal.

When the flight attendants passed out the paperwork, they said that some people could use the machines at the terminal, and explained who needed the paper form. This was a new development, and sounded like it might make things go faster.

The first thing to do was collect luggage. I got one bag and had Mom wait for it while I looked for the other one. Rude people who do not care about an old lady with dementia kept wanting her to move, so by the time I got the other bag, Mom was pretty far from the first one. I guess one other advantage of being in a separate terminal is that you only have people from your flight who are about to visit with the customs inspector there, plus staff. The odds of theft seem pretty low. They should still be able to go around her.

Once we had our bags, we are supposed to use the machines to answer questions, and then go to the person. There was a bank of six machines and a long line, beyond which I can see the customs agents. Okay, I should go up to one of these machines, right? Wrong! What I cannot see from where I am is that there is a break in the long line where there is another set of kiosks, which are the ones we are supposed to use. That was not clear at all.

I was already annoyed with people for moving my tired and disoriented mother, so I should not have been surprised by the amount of people trying to ease past us in line, but I was pretty done with humanity.

We arrived at the appropriate kiosks and followed the instructions. These included answering the normal questions (No! No farms ever!), scanning both of our passports, and both of us standing in front of the machine to have our pictures taken.Yes, you briefly get a picture that is worse than your passport picture, though they take it from you.

One other pitfall is that the machine prints out one slip per person, but there was a delay between the two, so I thought the one slip was enough. Fortunately, the next person had seen it and gave it to me when I went back to check. Slightly less done with humanity, I guess.

Then we went through an actual person, and answered questions once again. Most questions focus on food. We had bought some cookies and candies that were sealed up. There are these pastries that end up at a lot of our family gatherings which I had thought of bringing back, but was worried about their freshness. I am not sure now that they would make it through, so perhaps it was for the best. Also at Amsterdam there was a shop selling bunches of tulips - lovely, but possibly not customs-friendly.

Finally we were done, and could wait for the shuttle, to get back to the terminal, to find ground transportation, and go back to the house and die.

Welcome home!