We went to two dinner shows while in Buena Park: Medieval Times and Pirate's Dinner Adventure.
https://www.medievaltimes.com/
https://piratesdinneradventure.com/
With certain similarities between the two, and their remarkable proximity (there is only one building -- Porto's Bakery & Cafe -- separating the two), it seems the best way to review them may be in doing a head to head comparison.
Exterior Design:
While the pirates are housed in a nice building, it does not look particularly pirate-esque, like maybe it could share the space with a burlesque show, and have previously been a Western-themed place, hypothetically.
With Medieval Times you are entering a castle and courtyard, and it is duly impressive. Point: Knights.
Pre-Show Waiting Period:
This is a little less clear. It is probably fair to say that the Medieval Times interior has more to look at and of better appearance than the Pirate's Dinner Adventure interior, which seems overly dependent on Captain Morgan statues.
However, we preferred the souvenir selection at the Pirate's Dinner Adventure (more variety, less pretension) and the staff seemed friendlier.
In complete fairness, part of our frustration with Medieval Times is that we arrived thirsty on a hot day. Because the soft drinks are included with your meal, they won't sell you any before; you can buy alcohol or really overpriced slushies. We took this experience to be well hydrated and not quite as early for the pirates the next evening, so we didn't get parched like this guy. Point: Pirates
The Actual Theaters:
The Medieval Times Theater is vast, which makes it kind of weird that the leg room was so awkward at their tables. Obviously with horses and jousting it needs to be, but everything was far away.
The Meal:
At Medieval Times the half corn cob and the potato segment were so well-seasoned that it was kind of weird that they didn't season the chicken at all. However, I loved this combination menu/napkin:
There were no utensils at Medieval Times, and perhaps that is part of why they served in courses, to simplify. The Pirate's fare was served at once, with utensils. The chicken was better, as was the dessert, but the sides were not as good.
That would make this a draw, but while both places had vegetarian and vegan options, at Pirate's Dinner Theater the menus were viewable, and selections made when you made your reservation. I was able to request my shrimp skewer left off (allergies), and my sisters were definitely glad to not have to eat chicken again, though they did feel their ravioli kind of overdid it on the vegetables. That goes along with the customer service, and gives the point to the pirates.
The Shows:
The Pirates were a lot more fun.
The choreography for the pirates was better as well. They climbed and swung and incorporated silk (aerial) work and trampolines and fought with swords, guns, and fists, on deck and up the mast.
Speaking of sex discrimination (also in the suit), there were only two roles for women at Medieval Times, the queen and the falconer, either of whom could easily have been replaced with a man. Pirates were slightly more balanced, with eight men and three women (plus some soldiers). Pirates also had more audience participation, which was really a key part of both shows, but differently. Pirates got kids on stage, had audience members participating in challenges, and got us to sing and (kind of) dance. That was extra.
With the knights, every single joust involved one regular run, then one where the lances broke so they fought with some other weapon. Yes, the splintering of the lances can be exciting and create a sense of danger, but every single time? I don't understand why you would purposefully be so formulaic. I worried that I was missing things with the pirates any time I attended my food, but that was not a problem with the knights.
I was amused by the fakeness of some of the falls from horseback, but I get it: I don't want anyone hurt, including the horses. And that was when I started really not enjoying the show.
I started worrying that some of the animal treatment was cruel. I am no expert, but I started feeling very uncomfortable. I was not reassured by one apparent actual fall and difficulty in getting back on; there was a dapple grey horse that seemed to hate its rider. They appeared to change horses after that, which I guess is good, but I don't think I could go back in good conscience.
I did find this article: https://www.ocweekly.com/medieval-times-sued-animal-cruelty/
At both shows your table puts you in the section of one knight or pirate; you root for them and boo their rivals. That is normal, and there is no point in going to something like this unless you are going to participate. However, there needs to be conflict. This means that at one point, one section at Medieval Times was supposed to cheer for a knight who was breaking the codes of chivalry, and half of us at Pirate's were supposed to be cheering for the guys that were planning on murdering the princess and the mermaid.
I think there is a solution at something very similar to Medieval Times, the Excalibur Tournament of Kings in Las Vegas. When I was there (I admit, 20 years ago), at first the knights were competing, but then an evil wizard killed the king, and everyone needed to band together around the prince to defeat the wizard. I had thought something similar was going to happen at Pirate's with the Leviathan, but that was pretty underwhelming. The monster was vanquished easily, and it was back to whether or not the princess and mermaid would live.
Get the Leviathan to rise a little higher and make it the primary conflict. Then we can all cheer for everyone.
And Medieval Times could do something like that, except I will still not go back because of the horses. Corporate says it's fine, but so does Sea World.
(The Excalibur also had dancing girls to even up the number of women, but it's questionable whether that is really equity.)
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